Not everyone is going to like you.
That’s something my dad always reminds me.
He would always say “Annah, not everyone is going to like you and you’re not going to get along with everyone, but the ones that you do… those are the ones that matter.”
See, I used to want everyone to like me and every guy I went on a date with to get a second for a really long time. (Even if I wasn’t super into them)
If someone thought ill of me in any way I would immediately get down on myself, I would dwell on it and get super sad- Like WHY don’t these people like me, why didn’t that guy call me?
The problem, is that I didn’t even realize that I was basing my self value and worth on other people’s feelings about me. Completely giving up my power to them.
I was allowing their negative vibes to downgrade my self worth to the fact that I would be like “OMG what have I done wrong etc”
It became a cycle of insecurity.. of wanting to always be presented in a good light, always wanting the approval of others.
What I came to realize was that our self value has literally nothing to do with anyone else but ourselves.
It doesn’t matter if someone thinks something negative about you. No matter what you do or say, people are going to either love it or hate it.
It doesn’t matter if you didn’t get a second date. What matters is how YOU feel about YOU! What matters is realizing that YOU deserve the best, YOU deserve everything you’ve ever wanted.
Once you are able to love yourself to the depths of your soul, nothing that anyone says about you will even bother you.
Below I have compiled some of the things that have helped me on my path to learning how to love myself, which I believe is a never ending journey.
Here are 7 ways to start your own love affair with YOU:
Look in the mirror naked.
After you get out of the shower I want you to look into the mirror while your naked. I know this sounds awkward but trust me on this one it works… so, smile, admire your body. Tell yourself that you’re worth it, tell yourself all the things you love about yourself and tell yourself that you deserve nothing but the best. Do all these things by looking at yourself directly in the mirror. (This is something I tell all my clients) Do this every day for 30 days and you will see a difference, I promise.
Forgive yourself for your “so-called” mistakes, which I’m starting to believe is just another word for experience, because in those mistakes I found the opportunity for self growth. Forgive every person who you feel has wronged you. Forgive every person that caused you drama, pain or annoyances. Forgive them and send them love. Once you are able to declutter your past you will find that you will feel lighter and send more love inwards once the space is created.
Accept your family members and loved ones for who they are. Know that you will never be able to change them, but love them anyway, always. Love them for their faults, craziness and even drama. Once you are able to accept them for who they are you will find that they will no longer bother you next time they nag you.
Stop comparing yourself
Stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone’s path to success is different, everyone’s journey is different. Love YOUR path and YOUR journey.
Step outside, look at the beauty that nature brings. Watch the sunset and see how amazing the colors are and how they come together. Nature is so much bigger than us and can ground us in many ways. Take a walk with no shoes on, feel the ground beneath you. You’ll start to see how much calmer it makes you.
Smile. even when you’re in a bad mood. (It tricks the brain to think you’re happy) But more importantly, smile at strangers. Once you get the hang of it you’ll see how much it makes people’s day and by return you’ll make your own.
Take yourself on a date
Take yourself out to a nice lunch or dinner alone. I know this may sound daunting but you’ll get more comfortable the more you do it. You’ll see just how freeing it can feel and even possibly make some new friends. Once you are able to spend time alone in uncomfortable situations you will see how much growth can come through those moments. You will see how there was nothing to ever FEAR by being alone in public. You will find love that way, through growth and through slaying the FEAR. Do it, trust me!
So listen, next time you’re down on yourself, do one or all of these things. I promise you that it will make a world of a difference in not only your inner life but your love life as well, because once you start loving yourself more, you will start to attract all that love in.