“Don’t lower your standards for people who won’t raise theirs.”
When I was younger, I was always obsessed (?) with what people thought of me. I always wanted to please people, and I was willing to do anything or be anything. I was willing to change whatever I had to to be liked. I hadn’t yet learned that my opinion mattered most. It was the only opinion I needed to be worried about. I hadn’t yet realized that I could dress, think, believe however I wanted to, but that at the end of the day, I was the one who needed to be happy with myself.
My self confidence came later in life. It was one of the best wake up calls/epiphany I had ever had. I started to realize that I didn’t have to change for anyone. I didn’t WANT to change for anyone. I could try to please people all I wanted, but there was always going to be someone who had a problem with me. I could never please everyone. It was then I started dressing for me and me only. I had to be comfortable with how I dressed and who I was, no matter what anyone thought. When someone asks me if I’m dressing for someone, I simply tell them that the only person I ever dress for is me. I won’t change that for anyone. Here are 4 things things that you should never, ever change for anyone, no matter who they are.
Your personality is who you are. It’s what makes you unique. It’s like your fingerprint. Everyone has one. No two fingerprints are alike. It’s what makes you different and special. When someone decides to Love you, they commit to loving ALL of you. All your quirks and triggers. All your habits. Good or bad. When someone asks you to change the one thing about you that makes you different and unique, they are asking you to be someone else. Someone that you are not. Someone who doesn’t appreciate who you ARE does not deserve YOU, in any shape, way or form.
Changing your beliefs for someone isn’t only lying to that person, but it’s also lying to yourself. My mother used to tell me that lying didn’t affect other people. They would get on with their life. The only one truly affected by your lies was you. You would go through life deceiving yourself, believing the lives. In the end, you’re the one who ends up with the realization that you are not who you thought you were. You were the one left confused and unsure of yourself. The amazing thing about an opinion is that it can never be wrong. No one can ever be mad at you for something that you think or believe in. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to change your opinion or that it’s wrong, because it can never be wrong (it can never also be right, that’s just how it is). It can just be you.
Dreams are such amazing things. For some people, it’s the only thing that keeps them going. To have a dream is to believe that you can make something of yourself. There is no such thing as a bad dream. Nor one small enough. Your dreams show just how fierce and strong you are. It shows how hard of a worker you are, that you are a force to be reckoned with, and that should no one ever get in your way. Never let anyone tell you your dream is stupid. Or tell you to get another dream. It is NOT okay to make someone give up on anything ever. If anything, they should encourage you and do whatever they can to help you make your dream come true. They should talk you up. Shoot for the moon and the stars. Heck, shoot for the whole universe and don’t let ANYONE or anything get in your way!
When I think about how I used to look at myself and what I used to think about my appearance and my body, it’s impossible for me to imagine someone that Loves me thinking about me that way. I want someone who looks at my body and loves me anyway. Someone who doesn’t mind that my jaw is a little crooked. That the third degree burns on my hand and thigh won’t go away. Someone who won’t be afraid to caress them and love them, just as they are. Someone who sees all my “curves and all my edges” and loves me even more for them. I think about what a journey it was to come to terms with with how I looked. It took a lot of Love and courage for me to look in the mirror and say “This is who I am, and that’s okay”. I could never imagine someone breaking down my progress and telling me to go back and change it all. It took a lot for me to get here and I sure as hell won’t let someone tell me otherwise.
We were made how we are for a reason. If we were meant to look a different way and act a different way and be a different way, we would have been made that way. There are things that make you, well you. Know who you are and know what you are willing to change about yourself. Know who you would or should be willing to change for. Change is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it’s just exactly what our lives need. Just know that they are some things you should and should not change. For anyone. Ever. You are beautiful and imperfectly perfect just the way you are!